


if you only knew

by icedblack



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Canon Compliant, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Producer Im Jaebum | JB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedblack/pseuds/icedblack
Summary: "I just want to know if you've ever once thought about kissing me, in this lifetime.""No."
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 11
Kudos: 88





	1. not quite there yet

* * *

Jinyoung and Jaebeom are on the roof outside Jaebeom's window. They have not seen each other for some time since separated after college. Jaebeom opted to continue his career in the city while Jinyoung went back home to the small town they came from to take over the family business. Now Jaebeom has taken a leave of absence from work despite his success, his mind is crumbling thus coming home to familiarity.

_They knew each other before college but never properly interacted. They've had tons of mutual friends but never seemed to see each other at gatherings. On the rare occasions that they do, a simple smile and wave is all they offer each other. So it surprises them when they find out they've been assigned to the same dorm room with neither of them knowing the other would be in the same school. Since then, they have gotten an awful lot closer or life partners as they would say. But with being at a close proximity comes it's disadvantages such as seeing each other's bad habits, frequent bantering, and the worst of it all--as Jinyoung categorizes, is him having to leave the dorm at the wee hours if the night when Jaebeom brings home someone to fuck._

_Jinyoung would wait outside their door in his pajamas, groggily trying to keep himself upright so that he doesn't bump his head on the ground, earphones intact and listening to whatever song that could get the unwanted sounds out of his earshot. He could walk over to the common room but it was on the other end of the hall and he'd be too tired to move any further from the door to their room._

_They realized early on into their friendship how different their personalities were. Jaebeom was a night owl, finding his most productive and active hours were nearing midnight while Jinyoung liked being in bed by ten in the evening and up, bright and early. Jaebeom liked the party scene, or at least the social aspect of it, and Jinyoung didn't as much. He'd go to parties and clubs if he were invited but it wasn't something he'd look for nor die without. He preferred silence and serenity to end the day. That's why being out of his bed at irregular times because all Jaebeom wanted to do was have sex ticked him off the most._

_They've gotten into a huge argument because of that. Jinyoung had enough of being woken up and decided to confront Jaebeom about it._

_"How many people do you have to fuck every week, Jaebeom?"_

_"What's it to you if I keep getting some? Are you jealous?"_

_Jinyoung angrily snickers, "I don't give a shit if you're getting your dick wet. All I fucking want is to not be woken up to leave the damn room! Why can't you fuck them in their own place or in your car? Why do I have to adjust for you?"_

_Jaebeom stays silent._

_"_ _Honestly I am so tired and way too sleep deprived to even talk to you right now. Jaebeom, if you want to have sex and not be bothered please find another room and leave me alone." Jinyoung crawled back to bed and covered his face with his duvet, falling right back to sleep._

_Jaebeom never brought anyone back to the dorm and never fucked anyone else but Jinyoung hadn't noticed the latter at all._

_Things got better after that, they learned to respect each other's boundaries and made it clear to one another about how they wanted to live in order to keep their roommate arrangement as they don't see dorming with anyone else an option for either of them._

_But maybe Jaebeom was right, Jinyoung might be a little envious that other people get to have Jaebeom the way he can't in the room they share._

_Somewhere along their second year of higher education, Jaebeom saw Jinyoung differently. He could never be able to pinpoint exactly when his romantic feelings started to develop but he could only recall a situation wherein he finally realized that they were true, real and were not going to fade._

_Jinyoung's finals were fast approaching and Jaebeom had noticed that Jinyoung was never in the dorm for more than 5 hours a day--only to shower and sleep. As the exams were getting closer, the more he wasn't at the dorm at all. One evening, Jaebeom decided to look for Jinyoung. He tried to call a few times only to be left with endless ringing. He searches around the block in his car, looking at cafes, small restaurants, and even through clubs._

_After driving around for almost an hour, he reaches a park. It's wide, a row of lights illuminating each path. Benches were made of iron and wood and a surprisingly nice playground in the middle. He sees an unmistakable sweater on the swings and smirks. It's Jaebeom's sweater that Jinyoung loved to wear all the time, never giving the owner a chance to even try it on. He looked around and saw a food cart around the corner. He went to buy food and approached the younger._

_Jinyoung's head was down, watching his feet move the swing slightly and Jaebeom could also see he was pouting._

_He stepped in front of Jinyoung's feet, "Is the swing next to you taken?"_

_Jinyoung's head snapped upwards, he was taken aback to see Jaebeom in front of him in a shirt and pajama pants with only a coat keeping him warm._

_Jaebeom smiles and sits on the swing beside Jinyoung's and offers the sandwich he bought for him. Jinyoung shyly takes it and eats it right away._

_"So this is where you go, huh?"_

_"Why are you here?"_

_Jaebeom turns to look at him but he is still staring at the ground._

_"Isn't this the best time to bring people to the dorm, Jaebeom?"_

_"Why would I take people there?"_

_"Cause I'm not there. You can go use it as your sex dungeon for all I care."_

_"Calm down, will you? Why are you trying to pick a fight?"_

_Jinyoung sighs and finally sees Jaebeom eye-to-eye, Jaebeom softens at the sight of Jinyoung's face. His skin is pale, lips a little red from being nibbled at, and his stubble has started to grow. He sees Jinyoung's eyes puffy and faintly discolored for having been rubbed many times. Jinyoung mumbles an apology and starts eating again. They stay there in silence until Jinyoung finishes._

_"For the record, I stopped fucking around."_

_"Did you?"_

_"Yeah, I did. You proposed that I leave you alone if I wanted to keep having sex but being with you is much more satisfying."_

_"I also remember suggesting that you fuck in the car?"_

_"And drive you around in it? No way. I'm not going to let you sit in sweat and other...body fluids."_

_"You could always just clean it after--"_

_"Stop, Jinyoung. It's over and I'm done. I've had my share of one night stands and I don't see myself doing it again if it means to be separated from you."_

_Jinyoung closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Jaebeom looks at his phone to check the time and see that it was nearing one o'clock in the morning. He stands up and offers his hand to help Jinyoung up and he takes it. He was about to let go but Jinyoung tightens his hold. He looks at their hands and looks at Jinyoung's face but Jinyoung's is turned away. Without questioning, he interlaces their fingers and places it in the pocket of his coat and walks towards the car._

_He guides Jinyoung to the passenger seat and takes the driver's seat. After adjusting a few controls, he begins to drive back to the dorm. Normally, they would be scared about breaking the curfew but the management has long ignored it seeing that college students are the most unpredictable bunch so it was useless to have it anyway._

_Jinyoung falls asleep on their ride back home. So when they arrive, Jaebeom holds a completely groggy Jinyoung by his side up the elevator and into their room. He props him on the bed and Jinyoung wakes up enough to lie down properly._

_Jaebeom scoots closer to Jinyoung on the bottom bunk to get him out of his clothes but Jinyoung groans._

_"Hey, they're too dirty for you to sleep in. I thought you said no outside clothes on the bed?"_

_Jinyoung mumbles, "But they smell like you."_

_Jaebeom decides right then and there, that he'd never let anyone else have his clothes from now on._

_Towards the end of their final year, Jinyoung gets into a relationship. Not that the guy was an asshole, but the group of friends they shared thought that Jinyoung could do better. Jaebeom also felt iffy but that might have just been his feelings telling him to make a move. Whatever it was, he sets his judgement aside and accepts that Jinyoung isn't his and shows his support for their relationship. Much to their (secret) delight, the couple didn't last long. The guy only wanted Jinyoung because 'he was pretty'._

_On the night they broke up, Jaebeom was on the 2 person couch they had in the room watching reruns of The Simpsons on the television. Jinyoung barged in the room and fell face flat on his bed. Jaebeom sighed, got up to sit on the edge of the bed and give the younger a massage._

_"Want to talk about it?"_

_"Not right now."_

_"Ok_ a _y." Jaebeom continued to caress Jinyoung's back to calm him down. Jinyoung sits up after a few minutes and looks at Jaebeom right in the eye._

_"Be honest, did you like him or not?" Jaebeom was a little surprised at Jinyoung's bluntness but cleared his throat to answer him._

_"He was likeable. But I wasn't entirely at peace with the idea of you dating him, I guess."_

_"And why not?"_

_"I don't know, I just think you deserve someone better. Not someone mediocre and would ignore you and make excuses whenever you reach out."_

_"Well if you're such a know it all, who do you think I deserve to be with?"_

_Jaebeom gulps and gazes at the window. The stars are shining bright for the first time in a while. He takes a deep breath and exhales, in the hopes of calming his raging heart._

_"I just think that you deserve someone who likes you equally--if not, more. Someone who'd take care of you and find ways to be with you at every time of need. It'd be a bonus if they'll be with you just because."_

_Jaebeom starts to think about how he acts whenever Jinyoung is around._

_"You deserve someone whose heart races at the sight of you no matter how far. Someone who makes the effort to think about you when they buy food so that you could always have your own share whether you asked for it or not. Someone who would find you in the library or elsewhere in the middle of the night to take you home safely or just be with you in the moment."_

_He notices that Jinyoung is quieter than he was earlier, he looks to his side to see Jinyoung's eyes closed and his body leaning on the wall their bed was pressed up against._

_Jaebeom giggles and shakes his head, suddenly realizing he was speaking to the wind. He bravely takes Jinyoung's hand in his and brings it to his lips to press a kiss on the back of his hand. He whispers while looking at Jinyoung's face._

_"Me, Jinyoung. I want to be the one you deserve but I'm not quite sure I am there yet. I'll come for you when I'm ready to be yours...if you'll have me."_

_Jaebeom moves Jinyoung's body so he could lay flat on the bed. He undresses him to make him sleep comfortably, leaving Jinyoung in just his shirt and underwear. He makes his way up to the second bunk and finally rests._

_Little did he know Jinyoung was awake quietly crying his eyes out, overwhelmed but at the same time relieved to hear those words coming from him._

_After graduation, everyone went their separate ways including the two. Jaebeom left for the city to pursue a job in the music industry while Jinyoung, despite graduating with a degree in literature, ended up inheriting the family business early. Once in a while, the group would get together but would never be complete because Jaebeom never came to their gatherings. To make up for it, Jaebeom would always have something delivered instead._

_That's why it shocks Jinyoung to see Jaebeom years later at his door in the middle of the night. Hair tousled from the cold breeze and looking at him with warm and hopeful eyes._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am already letting you know that the updates will be slow and i apologize :((
> 
> thank you for reading, comments are always welcome!


	2. gratitude

* * *

_Jinyoung lets him in his house seeing that Jaebeom had just arrived with nothing more than a duffel bag over his shoulder, in a hoodie and jeans. He hesitantly eyes Jaebeom from the door as the elder makes his way to the living area to sit on the couch._

_"Are your parents not home?" Jaebeom asks._

_Jinyoung nods but doesn't budge from where he's standing, still in a little disbelief that Jaebeom is back in town and inside his house._

_"I could ask you the same thing."_

_Jaebeom offers a small smile and sighs. "They don't know I'm here. I haven't told them I'd be arriving because I didn't want them to stress over it."_

_Jinyoung raises an eyebrow and walks over to the other end of the couch._

_"I'll be going to theirs first thing in the morning."_

_"Where will you sleep tonight then?"_

_"I was kind of hoping you'd let me sleep here for the moment. I'll be out of your hair in no time."_

_"You really don't have any shame, do you?"_

_Jaebeom just smiles at him again._

_"You're lucky my family won't be home for a month. Take the guest room and if you need anything, my room is right across yours."_

_They stay like that for a while, Jaebeom sitting while Jinyoung is just leaning on the armrest of the couch not knowing what to do. Jaebeom was unreachable through calls and messages just as he was unavailable during their get togethers. He'd always respond late if not, he wouldn't respond at all and just leave their messages on 'seen'. The only time Jaebeom messages first are during their birthdays and holidays. Jinyoung understands his demanding job of having to continuously present tracks to artists and companies and make numerous revisions for hours and hours but he cannot help but feel that he'd been ignored by his best friend and the man he loves (something he had only admitted to himself but his friends could obviously see it). He also feels sorry because he's sure that their group of friends feel the same way but maybe not as complex as Jinyoung does. So, it's awkward finally talking and seeing each other in the flesh. He hoped that one day they'll see each other again but never expected it to happen._

_Jinyoung's curiosity speaks before his mind filters it, "Why are you home then?" It's a Wednesday night, an odd day and time._

_He heard Jaebeom take a deep breath, "I needed a break."_

_"You've been successful, haven't you? Are you not satisfied?"_

_"I have been and yes I am satisfied with the outcomes of my work but everything is getting cloudy and dark in my mind and I've been finding it really hard to see the light of day recently."_

_Jinyoung stares at Jaebeom as he talks to him. He could sense that Jaebeom had not been well and could see that his eyes lost the glittering liveliness he'd always shown. It's now dull by the stress he had been put under, like an old diamond earring unrecognizable under its own dust and grime. His face had lost its glowing sheen, now heavy and sunless and Jinyoung's heart aches._

_He questions if Jaebeom had been lonely all this time. Did he not have friends? a partner? Has he not found a lover to share these worries with? As much as he wished it were him, he had to be realistic. Even if Jaebeom had confessed that night after his break up, it wasn't impossible that he'd find others to date._

_Jinyoung, not knowing how to respond, simply nods. They eventually call it a night and Jaebeom follows Jinyoung up the stairs. Jinyoung shows him to his room and stands by the door as Jaebeom looks around._

_"Again if you need anything don't be afraid to tell me, please." Jinyoung's voice grew small at the end. Jaebeom understood that the offer was more than the expected politeness shown when having a guest over. He mumbles a soft 'Thank you' before Jinyoung closes his door and finally, without Jinyoung in sight he lets a tear cascade down one of his cheeks. After years of living alone and thinking he was okay, it felt so great to have someone look after him. He knew he was overreacting, it was a small thing and Jinyoung has always been polite but it can't take away the fact that he still feels somewhat relieved of everything that's been putting him down, that even after all this time, someone still cares for him--something he could not truly feel in the city._

_Hours have passed and Jaebeom fluctuates in and out of sleep, he's constantly turning and no position has gotten him comfortable enough to ease his tired mind and body. He eventually scrolls through his phone and comes across their chat group._

_'It's about time I reply to them, isn't it?'_

_He reads through the most recent conversation, laughs at the ridiculous replies, pictures and videos that have been sent. After going through most of it, he gets a notification that someone has tagged him in a message._

_It's Jackson congratulating Jaebeom because of the group he produced their title song for had won first place. The rest of them follow, Mark sends a sticker while Yugyeom and Bambam spam the chat room with 'Good job, Jaebeom-ah', 'Mister Producer right here', and other greetings that address him informally. Youngjae sends a happy, drunk picture of Jaebeom they constantly use. Even if they make fun of him, he knows they're sincere._

_He sends a quick 'Thank you, everyone. Hope to see you all soon.' and locks his phone before trying to fall asleep again, but his phone doesn't stop ringing. He opens it again to see them go absolutely crazy._

_'Oh? He's alive?'_

_'Yah, Im Jaebeom!'_

_'Why do I feel so emotional?'_

_'MISTER PRODUCER IS LITERALLY RIGHT HERE!'_

_'What do you mean by soon?'_

_He sends them a picture of the entrance of their village he took earlier and turns off the notifications on his phone to let them freak out even longer without disturbing him. He sits up and takes a peek at the clock on the nightstand, 'It's three in the morning, why are they still awake?' and laughs because he realizes that he's also very much awake._

_His mind starts to recall whose house he's in, the first person he saw since arriving, and the person whose given him comfort--the one his heart will always look for, is only three feet away from him. It's a bold move but gets up to open the door and when he does, he jerks backwards because Jinyoung is there on the other side, equally as shocked as he is._

_"H-Hyung, I--"_

_"It's okay. I was just going to get water." Jaebeom lies and carefully maneuvers around Jinyoung but Jinyoung grabs his arm. His head snaps up and sees Jinyoung looking straight into the empty room, his eyes already glossy and chest moving upwards heavily and back down slowly._

_"I can't stop thinking about w-what you said earlier. Hyung, don't you have friends in the city to reach out to? I'm sure if you had said something, they could've helped make things easy for you."_

_"I do but they're not--I don't see myself letting them into my life like that."_

_They're not you._

_"How can you--Why are you fighting your battles alone? Why are you allowing yourself to burn out?"_

_"Jinyoungie," Jinyoung's grip tightens and his tears start to fall._

_"I can't believe you think you're all alone in this, have I not made myself clear enough? Has our relationship not been strong enough? Why didn't you call me?" Jinyoung's voice cracks out of desperation and despair._

_"We haven't talked to each other for a long time, Jinyoung. I believe I lost that right since that started."_

_"Did you ever think about how I would feel? I know you're here to heal Jaebeom but it hurts to know that you're convinced that you could heal on your own. I'm right here, Jaebeom. I've always just been right he--"_

_With his free hand, Jaebeom grabs him by the neck and hugs him, his own tears betraying his eyes. When Jinyoung releases Jaebeom's arm from his hold, Jaebeom snakes both of his arms around Jinyoung's waist and lets Jinyoung sob into his chest._

_"I'm so sorry, Jinyoung." Jaebeom continuously whispers into Jinyoung's ear hoping he could hear it over the awful sounds of Jinyoung's weeping._

_They're in Jaebeom's room, Jaebeom is lying down on his back with an arm wrapped around Jinyoung's waist, and Jinyoung is nestled on Jaebeom's side, head resting on his shoulder as his face is buried in Jaebeom's neck and a hand on his chest. As expected, the sweater Jaebeom was wearing earlier is now on Jinyoung._

_They're quiet but this time, it isn't awkward. Jinyoung sniffles and uses the sleeve to wipe his nose and the drying tears on his cheeks._

_"Are you still crying?" Jaebeom asks as he looks down to Jinyoung's face. Jinyoung shakes his head and cuddles closer to Jaebeom._

_"Go to sleep, Jinyoungie." Jinyoung wraps his arm around Jaebeom's torso and tangles his leg in between Jaebeom's._

_"Please don't go before I wake up."_

_"I won't, I'll be right here with you."_

_Jinyoung looks up, his eyes and nose are red and puffy and his lips are in a pout Jaebeom was always fond of. He chuckles and closes his eyes._

_"I promise, I won't leave."_

_They finally fall asleep._

_It's noon and Jaebeom had just woken up. He doesn't know how they got into this position but somehow they've ended up spooning. Jinyoung's head is lying down on the Jaebeom's arm that has been stretched out and his body is pressed right against Jaebeom's front. Jaebeom's other arm is draped over Jinyoung and his face is nuzzled into Jinyoung's hair. Their fingers are interlocked, and Jaebeom instinctively rubs his Jinyoung's hand._

_He's itching to kiss Jinyoung so bad. He has been ever since college but holding him close in his arms like this, makes Jaebeom's mind leap through imaginary scenarios he had kept at the back of his mind because reality was much more demanding and heartbreakingly true._

_But he's here right now with Jinyoung on the same bed in Jinyoung's house, and if he were here to heal, shouldn't he start by mending the longest and most painful ache in his heart? With everything he's got, he slowly moves down ready to plant a kiss on Jinyoung's exposed neck but he stops himself. He isn't ready yet, he can't promise Jinyoung a good life with him if he still hasn't figured out how to give himself one. He has nothing to offer Jinyoung but shards of who he is. So he lays his head on the pillow again and breathes in Jinyoung's scent instead. He takes in what he could have and when he breathes out, he accepts what he doesn't and lets go._

_As promised, he doesn't budge until Jinyoung wakes up. Jinyoung turns to lie on his back stretches, as he was turning his all his senses register the sensations around him--a hand his, a body against his own, and the distinct smell he grew to love._

_He jolts up, accidentally elbowing Jaebeom in his stomach, making Jaebeom grunt._

_"You're...here?" Jinyoung looks at his suddenly covered arms to see he's wearing the sweater Jaebeom came in last night. "You're real…"_

_"It's weird isn't it?" Jaebeom chuckles and unplugs his phone from his charger._

_"Yeah, you could say that."_

_"Well, I've fulfilled my promise haven't I? I think I'll have to get going...my parents need to know I'm here."_

_"I'll come with."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Once they've readied themselves, they start moving. Jinyoung offered to drive his car but Jaebeom insisted that he preferred to walk. Their town is near the ocean and so Jaebeom wanted to just absorb the town's energy and reminisce._

_With Jinyoung trailing him, he checks his phone and once again sees his notifications blast at the top bar. He doesn't open the chat but sees a few messages cursing him and their sudden plans to visit the place as well._

_They continue in silence until they reach Jaebeom's gate and ring the doorbell._

_"You should come in, I think my mom would love to see you."_

_"I'm sure she's seen me more than her own son."_

_They turn their heads to the gate when they hear it screech open._

_"Oh! Jaebeom?" Jaebeom's mom shouts in delight. He immediately takes her in a tight hug as a greeting._

_"My son is home!" She laughs and hugs him back just as tight. When she sees Jinyoung standing behind Jaebeom with a wide smile, she pushes her son off him and hugs Jinyoung._

_"My favorite boy, Jinyoungie! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"_

_"He's your favorite boy?" Jaebeom asks in shock._

_Jinyoung laughs and politely hugs her back, "I don't have important meetings, thankfully. So, I need not to go to the office today."_

_"I can't believe I'm not your favorite boy…" Jaebeom mumbles._

_"Of course you are my favorite boy, everyone knows that. But aside from you, Jinyoung takes first place too." She holds both their hands and drags them inside the house._

_"C'mon you two, sit down and I'll prepare some food."_

_Over their meal, Jaebeom and his mother happily caught up while Jinyoung enjoyed listening to the pair. Though his real family is away at the moment, he felt at home. Jaebeom's dad comes to the dining room later on and the family continues to fill each other in on their lives._

_It was getting really late in the afternoon and Jinyoung decided to head back to his place. Jaebeom rushes beside him to see him out._

_"Thank you for last night, Jinyoung. I'm sorry I came untimely."_

_"It's alright, Hyung."_

_"I guess, I'll see you around."_

_"Yeah." Jinyoung smiles and heads off to his house._

_Jinyoung had just come out of the shower when he received a text from Jaebeom._

_"Thanks again for last night."_

_"You can stop thanking me, it's not like we haven't housed each other before."_

_"I mean thank you for not giving up on me even if I haven't been really good to you."_

_"Good night, Jaebeom."_

_It takes a while for Jaebeom to reply and Jinyoung's eyes are battling exhaustion. Right before his eyes give up, he sees Jaebeom's new texts and falls asleep with a smile on his face._

  
_"Keep the hoodie. Sleep well, Jinyoung."_

_"I miss you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, it is the Jisoo-Jaehyun cuddle from WMLB.


	3. in the long run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep fighting for justice and be safe.

* * *

_Weeks have passed and Jaebeom sending Jinyoung off from his house was the last time they saw each other. They've been texting, speaking through the group chat and their personal chat but Jinyoung is a busy man and Jaebeom's got a lot of time on his hands which is why it's no surprise to Jaebeom if they don't meet at all. But Jaebeom is here, he misses his Jinyoung, and doesn't want to waste whatever time he has left to have him by his side. So he tries his best to take care of Jinyoung in whatever way he can even if he can't be with him physically._

_Whenever he could, he would pass by Jinyoung's house and leave take out containers of food he had eaten on that day. They weren't left overs, Jaebeom would always get two orders of what he chose to eat and would automatically have second order to go. Without a fail, he would leave a written note of anything--be it song lyrics, a memory, or quotes from literary pieces, he would try to capture whatever his mind and heart wanted to say into those tiny pieces of paper and god, did Jinyoung love them._

_There was nothing more refreshing than coming home and not having to even think about cooking because he knew Jaebeom would always drop off something for him, but he always wished Jaebeom would stay and wait for him at his door. The time between Jaebeom leaving food by his house and the time he comes home isn't that long because when Jinyoung arrives, the packets are still quite warm._

_He was almost able to catch Jaebeom one day. His workload wasn't heapfuls as it has been for weeks so he hurried home in the hopes to see Jaebeom. When he got there, he didn't see a bag in the spot it usually would be._

_'Oh, I must be early.'_

_He goes inside to make himself a cup of tea. In his bedroom, he has a desk that is placed against a single, wide wide window that overlooks the front of the house. So, he sits there and waits for Jaebeom. It was nearing 6 o'clock in the evening and Jinyoung was getting hungry. He goes to the kitchen to get a snack and rushes back to his room and by the time he gets there, he sees a head with long hair turn a corner._

_'Crap.'_

_He tries to make it out as fast as he could but once he left the house, the street was empty again and just like always, there's food on the steps waiting for him._ _Jinyoung texts him that later that night._

_'Thank you for the meal, Hyung.'_

_A few seconds later his phone rings with Jaebeom's name on the screen and he picks up the phone._

_"Hyung--"_

_"Hold on! Let me just…"_

_Jinyoung hears rustling and objects bumping against each other._

_"Okay." Jaebeom says a little out of breath._

_"You alright, Jaebeom?"_

_"Yeah, I just--I'm on the roof. You?"_

_Jinyoung chuckles, "I'm home."_

_"That's good, how was work?"_

_"Work? Just...the usual. I ended early."_

_"I know."_

_"What?"_

_"Your car was parked when I came, Jinyoung. Of course I knew you were home."_

_And they're quiet for a moment, Jinyoung is listening to Jaebeom breathe while Jaebeom enjoys the night breeze._

_"Jinyoung, do you want to come over?"_

_Jinyoung would be lying if he said he wasn't taken aback._

_"N-Now?"_

_"Yeah, my parents left town earlier and I'm assuming your family hasn't come home yet?"_

_"Um…"_

_"It's okay if you don't want to. I was just wondering...I mean it has been awhile since we've seen each other and I want to--I think I just--"_

_"Yah, stop blabbering. I'm on my way."_

_From where Jaebeom was seated, he could see Jinyoung's car coming uphill towards his house. He crawls back to his room and makes his way out the gate to greet Jinyoung from outside._

_They make their way to Jaebeom's bedroom._

Minutes later, Jinyoung and Jaebeom are on the roof outside Jaebeom's window. They're sharing a bottle of soju after having a few separately and it is dangerous, two slightly intoxicated men sitting on a roof but they've mastered the art of sobering up when needed all thanks to the countless parties their friends had dragged them into.

Giggling, they pass the bottle as well as stories they haven't got to say and memories they've kept, and each time they do, they unknowingly get closer. Jaebeom's arm is now behind the younger, and his right hand is now by Jinyoung's hip furthest from him. Jaebeom's legs are stretched out while Jinyoung's is neatly crossed but Jinyoung's torso is nearly an inch away from Jaebeom's shoulder. 

Jaebeom is looking up at the dark sky. The stars are bright, they're blanketing the expanse unlike the previous nights. The moon is dimly, but oddly pleasantly lightning the silent town they're in, and Jinyoung is looking at him. It's been a while since he's seen Jaebeom raw and up close. It's different from seeing press pictures, on the internet, and on screen. It's calming, soft, and euphoric almost, to see him at his pure and honest form.

"Jaebeom." He faintly calls out.

Jaebeom's head turns to him and they're close, close enough that if Jinyoung were to lean a centimeter closer, the tips of their noses would touch. He watches Jinyoung eyes flutter from the tiles to his lips. Before he could process what he was doing, he placed his hand ever so gently on Jinyoung's hip, thumb moving up and down to encourage Jinyoung to say what he wanted.

"Did you really not date anyone? In Seoul?" 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath, "I tried, but they're not that interesting."

"How so?"

"They knew my status and the people I work with. They all start off fine until they say something and their intentions become clear. I got tired of it."

"You didn't meet anyone you wanted to be with?"

"I did,"

Jinyoung jolts at Jaebeom's hand caressing his hips again, he didn't even realize he had stopped.

"But I don't know if I'm right for them."

Jinyoung want to believe it is him he's talking about, he wants to believe in the words Jaebeom spoke that night in their dorm, in all the looks and smiles, and in all the forms of affection Jaebeom has shown him but he can never discard the fact that life and love aren't always kind to people.

"Then they must be really lucky you like them a lot." Jinyoung chugs the remaining liquid in the bottle.

"Did you date anyone after Hyung-sik?"

Jinyoung just shakes his head.

"I'm glad you started dating, Jae. At least you've realized you wanted to settle down. College you would have been--"

"Hey, let's not talk about that."

"Why? Remember when you'd kick me out--"

Jaebeom playfully pulls Jinyoung right up against him to cover his mouth with his free hand and halt him from speaking and they just laugh.

"I'm curious though," Jinyoung clears his throat and places the bottle on the window pane to buy some time.

"We've spent a lot of time together, and I just want to know if you've ever once thought about kissing me, in this lifetime."

"No."

Jinyoung body freezes, he doesn't know if his blood is flowing nor does he know if his heart is still beating. He is numb, but how could numbness feel so piercingly painful? His eyes are starting to water and he could feel the alcohol churn in his stomach. It's ironic, he feels like suffocating under a vast, open sky. 

"Not just once. I always did, Jinyoung." Jaebeom says in the most solemn voice.

Jinyoung's lip start to shake and tears rapidly escape from his eyes. Jaebeom, like always, holds him tight.

"Did you mean it? What you said in the dorm when I had just broken up with Hyung-sik?"

"You heard that?"

"I did and you kissed my hand. Jaebeom I've been waiting since then." He says as clear as he could through the emotions he's choking on.

"Before that, all I hoped was that someday I could finally to put meaning to whatever you'd do for me and understand why you were so awfully good to me. Then, that night happened and I finally did."

Jaebeom's free hand comes up to Jinyoung's face and carefully wipes his cheeks. Jinyoung leans in his touch and holds the hand as if it's the only buoy in the sea.

Jaebeom gingerly continues to trace Jinyoung's face like he is trying to learn it by heart and when his thumb reaches the side of his lips, he looks straight at Jinyoung whose glossy eyes seem to never lose focus on his.

"I don't want to wait anymore, Jaebeom."

"I won't let you wait any longer."

Jaebeom pulls Jinyoung's face and smashes their lips together. One by one, the bricks of their hurt, anger, anxiety, and confusion come undone from their minds. Each push and pull of their lips is an emotion, a message they've been wanting to say that words cannot merely describe but they let each other know anyway. Once the aggression has gone through, the tenderness seeps in. They move against each other gently, both of Jaebeom's hands are now cupping the younger's face and Jinyoung's grip on Jaebeom's shirt loosens and his hands flatten against his chest. They're drowning in each other's touch, from each other's scent and aura that cannot be explained and through the layers they slowly sink into, they could finally breathe.

Jinyoung leans back first, trying to catch his breath and Jaebeom tries to chase his lips but ends up kissing his chin instead and he stops. They breathe onto each other, their eyes are close and their foreheads rest against one another.

"I think," Jaebeom gulps. "I think we should head back inside."

Jinyoung nods and crawls through the window, Jaebeom follows through and shuts it close. He turns around and sees Jinyoung standing in front of him biting his lower lip with his hands in his pockets--something he would always do whenever he felt shy and out of place. He approaches him and takes his hands to wrap them around his neck. He holds Jinyoung's hips near his and plants a kiss on Jinyoung's forehead and speaks while his lips are still there.

"I'm so sorry, it took us this long. I still don't think I'm enough to give you what you deserve," He kisses the same spot again.

"But I'll try. I'll try for you, and I'll try for us. You are, and always have been my motivation. I shouldn't have made you wait, I'm sorry for letting you cry, I'm sorry for letting you feel alone all these years, for hurting you like this. Jinyoung, please forgive me."

He noses Jinyoung to look at him, and with fresh tears flowing, they seal their apology and forgiveness, love and security, and their newly formed bond and promise with another real and earnest kiss.

  
  


They're cuddling on Jaebeom's bed while watching a film on his laptop but Jinyoung isn't really paying attention to the screen. He's more aware of Jaebeom's chest against his back, and how he's in between the elders legs, their opposite hands clasped over his belly while their free hands touch whatever they could. Sighing, he leans his head on Jaebeom and closes his eyes.

Jaebeom whispers to his temple, "Are you sleepy?"

"No, just comfy."

Jaebeom hums and plays with Jinyoung's fingers. Not much later, Jinyoung actually does fall asleep and Jaebeom just lets him rest in his arms while he finishes the movie. Once it was over, he tries to gently detangle himself from Jinyoung and when he places Jinyoung's head on the pillow, the younger stirs and grunts but does not wake up.

He exhales and tidies the mess on the bed and places it on his desk. He prepares clothes Jinyoung could change into then grabs his sleepwear and enters the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth. When he gets out, he sees that Jinyoung is still sound asleep so he rushes to the kitchen and grabs two water bottles and to the linen cabinet to hand Jinyoung a toothbrush. When he comes back in the room, he places the bottles on his side table so it is close enough for Jinyoung to reach. He shakes the sleeping mass on his bed to consciousness. Slightly awake, Jinyoung rolls onto his stomach and hides his face in Jaebeom's pillow.

"Jinyoung-ah? Wake up."

"Why?" 

"You haven't showered nor have you drank water either. C'mon up, Nyoung."

"Okay."

He pushes himself off the bed and lets Jaebeom guide him to stand. The main goal is for Jinyoung to be able to ready himself for slumber but Jaebeom readies with him. He offers him water, adjusts the water heat in the shower and even hands him a toothbrush prepared with toothpaste on it.

"I'll wait in the room." He mentions when Jinyoung takes the toothbrush from him and leaves. Jinyoung turns to look at the toothbrush in his hand and smiles.

'He's doing it again.' He chuckles and does what he needs to do. When he comes back to the room, he sees Jaebeom on his back, sprawled across the bed while holding his phone in the air. He was quite invested in the conversation he was in for him not to notice Jinyoung come in. 

"Got any room for me there?

Jaebeom jumps and sits up at Jinyoung's voice which makes him drop his phone on his face. 

"Hyung!" Jinyoung exclaims but then laughs a second later. Still in shock, Jaebeom watches his laugh and slowly, he laughs with him.

"Come here, Nyoung-ah."

Jinyoung shyly makes it in front of Jaebeom, he stands in between his legs. 

"You think that's funny? Huh?" Jinyoung continues to giggle with his hand over his mouth.

Jaebeom wraps his arms around Jinyoung and devilishly handles him onto the bed. His hands start to tickle at Jinyoung's sides while his weight holds him down.

Jinyoung cracks up louder while trying to push Jaebeom off his body.

"Okay! It's not--its not funny!" He says with a gummy smile across his face.

"What did you say?"

Jaebeom stops tickling Jinyoung and fully leans his weight on the boy. Jinyoung's legs spread to accommodate the weird man and his arms are still lightly pushing at Jaebeom's pecs. Jaebeom naughtily tries to nose his way to Jinyoung's neck. Jinyoung, not realizing the consequences, laughs and exposes his neck.

"I'm sorry! It's not funny--"

"May I kiss you?"

Jinyoung stares at him longingly then nods. Jaebeom takes the opportunity and places lingering kisses on the pale, bare skin of his neck. He works his way down, slowly. Jinyoung could feel the heat of his lips spread, and tongue coming out at times.

He feels numb again but there's continuous warmth instead of the cold, icy feeling he had felt earlier. He closes his eyes to savor it and keeps an arm rested on Jaebeom's back while the other is in his hair.

Jinyoung gets goosebumps at every breath that breezes through the saliva on his skin as well as the thought of finally being here with Jaebeom the way they want to be. They've taken a long time to get where they are. Though it's just the start of something they've mutually hoped for, they know it in their hearts that they're in it for the long run with no plans of ever leaving each other no matter what.

Jinyoung moans a series of sounds when Jaebeom works on the spot he never knew would make him weak. He could feel Jaebeom smirk while making a mark. Given that they know almost everything about each other, Jaebeom knows Jinyoung hasn't been sexually active with a partner, ever. Even when he was with Hyung-sik, Jinyoung admitted that he would never do anything more than just kissing. So this, whatever Jaebeom is doing is something new to him and it exhilarates Jaebeom to know that he gets to have Jinyoung like this. All for him. Jaebeom nibbles at the patch and makes Jinyoung groan, the hand in his hair tightens and Jaebeom's hips instinctively thrusts forward. 

Jinyoung's eyes roll back at the striking pleasure on his groin and bucks up to feel it again and Jaebeom grunts. But doesn't know if Jinyoung is ready to be with him this way. So he finishes up and slowly kisses a trail upwards and ends on Jinyoung's lips.

"I don't want to do anything you're not entirely comfortable with. We can--we can do this another time."

"Beom-ah, It's okay. I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We've both waited a long time and I--I think it's good that we did. I've readied myself enough for you and you have a lot of experience so I think, I think I'm ready."

Jaebeom's heart bursts at Jinyoung's honesty. He can't believe he made the man he loves wait for him and be with him in a way that's so sacred. But he thinks that it's good they've waited too because they've matured and have properly figured out the way they want to be treated in romantic relationships. So Jaebeom makes it his sole duty for tonight, to give Jinyoung a first time he'd never regret but treasure, a pure form of love and affection with his utmost, attentive care and vows to keep pleasuring him better as they go on into their relationship.

"I'll take care of you, Jinyoung-ah."

"I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know what's gonna happen in the next chapter
> 
> (i hope the summary and the start of chapter 1 makes sense now hdndhh)


	4. oh so good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my longest chapter lmaooo

As promised, Jaebeom does the best he can to make Jinyoung know that he's loved and that he will always be cared for.

Jaebeom has Jinyoung on his lap, _it'll be easier for us to kiss this way._ Jaebeom kisses him unhurriedly, allowing Jinyoung to ease into their lips moving against each other. He gnaws on Jinyoung's mouth like a strawberry with endless saccharine juice flowing; it's enchanting, Jinyoung is just absolutely enchanting. They're getting lost in it, the sensation of trothed intimacy. Jinyoung has found his rhythm and kisses back eagerly. He's entranced in the way Jaebeom works his mouth open, the way Jaebeom savors every part of his mouth like a wolf meticulously eating its prey. Inch by inch, they're getting even closer and when their tongues slide against each other, they lose all restraint.

It's getting feral, Jaebeom's lips persistently press onto Jinyoung's own. Their tongues know no boundaries and laps at wet caves. Jinyoung moans into it, his arms that were once loosely hanging off Jaebeom's shoulders are now clawing his cheeks and the back of his partner's head. Meanwhile, Jaebeom's arms are hooked behind Jinyoung's arched back, despite being wrapped around Jinyoung, his hands crawl their way into Jinyoung pants and firmly grips his pert ass over his underwear. Jinyoung immediately grinds forward and detaches from their kiss to whine in pleasure.

Jaebeom continues to knead Jinyoung's ass towards him so their crotches constantly rub against each other. Eyes closed, Jinyoung leans his head back and pants into the air. Jaebeom laps at Jinyoung's neck once again, remarking the love bites he left earlier. He focuses on the one behind Jinyoung's earlobe--the spot that gives Jinyoung shivers and goosebumps. Jinyoung, already feeling overwhelmed by all the sensations, loses his grip on Jaebeom's face and completely leans into him.

"Thats," He pants. "That's enough. I can't--I c-can't."

Jaebeom bites and licks at it once more before he parts to look at Jinyoung. 

"Too much?"

Jinyoung could only nod as he grinds against Jaebeom's growing cock. Jaebeom sucks his teeth in pleasure.

"You're doing great, Jinyoung-ah." He whispers into his ear. "Just like that." His hold on Jinyoung's ass isn't as tight, he's just cupping it now and lets Jinyoung move against him the way he wants to. He watches Jinyoung work himself up, drinking in the sight his fantasies would render when he's thinking about him late at night and even in his daydreams but he doesn't have to imagine anymore.

Jinyoung is breathless, he licks his drying lips to get him to concentrate on making Jaebeom hard but he's also getting tired and Jaebeom notices. He holds Jinyoung in place and caresses his hips, he brings his hands under Jinyoung's shirt and thumbs softly rubbing over the line where his skin meets the fabric of his pajama pants. He places his forehead on his and pecks the tip of Jinyoung's nose.

"I'm going to start now, alright?" 

Jinyoung hums.

"You can always tell me if it hurts, let me know if you want me to slow down, if you want to stop. Even if we're far into it, if you don't feel like it or can't do it any longer, tell me and we'll stop."

Jinyoung thinks he could cry right now. Jaebeom asking for consent and respecting whatever future decision he makes is just so sexy, it turns him on even more. His cock starts to feel warmer and he clenches. 

"Fuck, that's so sexy."

Jaebeom chuckles and moves his hands upward, stroking up and down Jinyoung's back and torso. He feels Jinyoung jerk at his touch. 

"Let's get you out of these clothes, hm?"

Jaebeom assists Jinyoung as he takes off his shirt. His torso is bare now and Jaebeom could see the ridges of his chest and abs. Unconsciously, he leans down and softly kisses the middle of Jinyoung's chest. He moves outward, kissing the area that surrounds the nipple and then licks at the hardened nub. He brings a hand and carefully plays with the other. Jinyoung holds Jaebeom's head and supports himself holding on the headboard. His cock twitches in his pants. Having Jaebeom suck and play with his nipples feel so different from when he does it himself. Everything is heightened with a partner. He breathes out hard, trying to control his throat from making inhumane moans that'll break the sounds of Jaebeom kisses and licks across his whole chest, one nipple to the other.

As Jaebeom continues to mark up the flushed stretch of Jinyoung's chest, he finally reaches into Jinyoung's front, he strokes Jinyoung's bulge over his underwear and Jaebeom could tell he's working with a handful, maybe even more. Jinyoung squirms in his lap.

"That feels good." 

Jaebeom gives Jinyoung's cock a squeeze at every upstroke, trying to wring the pre-come out of Jinyoung. Jinyoung takes his hand under Jaebeom's jaw and gently pulls him back to his lips and shudders as they continue to lip lock messily. It's Jinyoung leading the kiss now, he's needier than he was just moments ago as tongues coat each other's mouths with spit and their lips keep getting plump and swollen. Jaebeom could feel a patch of wetness in Jinyoung's underwear and smirks into the kiss. He roughly shoves his hand inside his briefs and feels the warm and wet length of Jinyoung. Jinyoung squeaks at the feeling of Jaebeom's bare hands wrapped around his dick, pumping him wet. Jaebeom groans when Jinyoung bites at his bottom lip, he opens his eyes and sees Jinyoung staring at him with glossy eyes fully engrossed on his lips. 

"What do you want? Tell me." 

"I-" Jinyoung shuts his mouth immediately, how does he tell Jaebeom that he's close and wants to come while Jaebeom sucks him off? Everything is so new to him it's making him ashamed for wanting dirty things. 

"It's okay, don't be shy." Jaebeom tells him gently. 

Jinyoung's body twitches, "I'm c-close," and Jaebeom pumps him faster. Jinyoung's eyes roll back and his mouth goes slack. Jaebeom's lips never leave his ear. He whispers dirty, but ever so beguiling words into his ear.

"Jaebeom--ah!" He holds onto Jaebeom's hand in his brief to stop him from moving. Jaebeom nuzzles into his cheek, "I'm here, I'm right here."

Jinyoung breathes out, "I want to come in your mouth." Jaebeom feels like he can't breathe. He never thought Jinyoung would ever say that, let alone make love to him and something in him clicks.

"Or not, we don't--I don't want to if--"

Jaebeom holds onto Jinyoung's waist tightly and turns them over so he's hovering him. He's vicious, he's almost ripping off Jinyoung's clothes and Jinyoung gasps in surprise when Jaebeom moves down and immediately takes his length in his mouth. With no time to even process what's going on, Jinyoung locks his thighs around Jaebeom's neck and his hands flail over his head. Jaebeom arms lock each leg from under to hold him down. He sucks at Jinyoung's thick cock, its wet with his saliva and Jinyoung's pre-come. He's lapping and sucking the length like it's the sweetest thing he's ever tasted. He fondles Jinyoung's balls and he just can't get enough of the way Jinyoung reacts to it. 

"Oh, fuck! Oh! Jaebeom!"

Jaebeom takes him whole until the tip of Jinyoung cock reaches the back of his throat. Jinyoung convulses and spills into Jaebeom's mouth, he chokes on his moans and arches his back off the bed. Jaebeom sucks him through it, Jinyoung could feel Jaebeom swallow after every spurt. His aftershocks are still ripping through him but Jaebeom lets go of Jinyoung's spent cock. Jinyoung looks down at Jaebeom and Jaebeom can't help but smile at him. Jinyoung bites his lip and smiles back.

Jaebeom caresses his hip and plants trails of kisses on his inner thighs, speaking praises after every peck while looking up at him.

_You did so well, Jinyoung._

_You're so good._

_So fucking pretty when you come. You taste so luscious, so sweet._

Jinyoung's legs relax and it makes him open up right in front of Jaebeom. What Jaebeom wants is visible, Jinyoung hole clenches around nothing and Jaebeom's mind goes dark imaging himself pounding into the tight, shiny pink hole. Some of Jinyoung's come and his own spit had streaked down and Jaebeom couldn't control himself. He watches a loaded drop glide down his length and balls, once it reached Jinyoung's rim, he licks it. He takes advantage of this and eats him out. The tip of his tongue tracing the tightness of his rim and prodding at the entrance. 

"Shit, Beom! What are you doing?"

"I bet you taste even better here."

"That's dirty, Jaebeom. Y-You shouldn't--don't, oh my fucking god!"

Jaebeom aggressively plunges his tongue into him. His saliva is getting all over the place but he doesn't care, not when Jinyoung's moans are getting louder, not when his hands are latching at his hair so tight he might actually rip it off, and not especially when he makes Jinyoung come again by just his tongue eating him out like this. With that, Jaebeom is absolutely satisfied with making Jinyoung come twice. He can deal with his hard on later, he just wants to give Jinyoung a taste of what he could get with him.

Jaebeom moves back up but stays beside Jinyoung and faces him. He brings his left arm under Jinyoung's head to cradle him while his right arm helps Jinyoung's hand squeeze whatever come he has left in him. 

He kisses Jinyoung's temple before reaching behind him for some wipes to wipe off the mess they made all over Jinyoung's body. Jinyoung is finally able to even out his breath. His eyes closed shut and his mind is drifting off into slumber but he twitches whenever Jaebeom wipes at his raw places, still sensitive from minutes ago.

"I know, I know. I'm almost done, don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you wake up."

When he finishes, he pulls Jinyoung towards him so they're face to face. Jinyoung's eyes slightly open and sees Jaebeom smiling at him.

"What about you?" He mumbles and Jaebeom, with his arm still under Jinyoung head, gently pushes Jinyoung's sweaty hair up. His free hand caresses the side of Jinyoung's ass.

"We have a lot of time, I'll be okay."

"Okay."

They're silent for a moment, Jaebeom continues to comfort the younger while Jinyoung tries to snug closer to Jaebeom.

"I'm the only one naked though."

Jaebeom laughs and smiles fondly.

"I know, and you look so beautiful."

Even with his eyes closed, Jinyoung's brows scrunch and lips pout.

"I don't want to be the only one naked."

"Alright, alright. I'll remove my shirt."

He detangles himself from Jinyoung and takes off his shirt. He grabs the end of the bunched up comforter and covers their bodies with it. Jinyoung opens his eyes to take a peek at Jaebeom's body and he licks his lips at the sight. He's not as buff as Jinyoung, but his body is toned enough to see the cuts of muscles and his broad, broad shoulders make him look absolutely delectable, and makes Jinyoung's gut feel things. 

"Happy?"

Jinyoung moves down to plant kisses on Jaebeom's chest the way he did to him and slots his leg in between Jaebeom's. Jaebeom jumps at the warmth Jinyoung leg brings to his cock.

"I am. I am happy."

He watches Jinyoung's face slowly fall into slumber before kissing his lips and decides to call it a night as well.

When Jinyoung wakes up, the sun is bright in the sky. He stretches his body to get his blood flowing through. He expected to feel a body beside his but as he turned, he plopped right on his back with nothing to stop him. He pouts and at the empty space wondering where Jaebeom went. He dresses himself up in the shirt Jaebeom had lent him. It ends mid thigh which is long enough to make Jinyoun decide to completely skip wearing underwear and pants. 

He walks down the stairs to see Jaebeom, still shirtless, cooking at the stove. His beefy broad shoulders and back facing him, Jinyoung quietly pads his feet to Jaebeom, he gently wraps his arms around him and places his chin on Jaebeom's shoulder. 

"What are you cooking?"

Jaebeom, unphased, kisses Jinyoung's cheeks and turns focus back to the pot. "Just ramen. I added some more toppings. I made some kimbap and tteokbokki, it's on the table. You can start eating if you want."

"I don't."

"Are you not hungry?"

"I am, I'll just wait for you so we can eat together."

"Alright, I'm done anyway." Jinyoung lets go and follows Jaebeom when he holds the handlebars of the pot with rags and lifts it off the stove to set it on the dining table.

Jaebeom walks to the living room to turn off the television but Jinyoung has something else in mind.

"Hyung, let's just eat there."

"Huh?"

"Let's watch something while eating." Jinyoung says as he collects the food to place it on the rectangular coffee in the living room. Jaebeom carries the other dishes to the table and settles in the middle of the couch. He eyes Jinyoung who is just standing by the table, shyly looking at him.

Confused, he asks "Did you want to sit here?" while pointing at his spot and Jinyoung nods. He's halfway through scooting to the side when Jinyoung tells him to stop.

"That's...that's not what I meant."

Jinyoung smiles, "I want to sit there." and points at Jaebeom's lap.

"But you told me to stop moving--"

"In your lap, Jae."

Jaebeom eyes enliven and Jinyoung giggles at the thought that if Jaebeom were a dog, his ears would perk up. Jaebeom opens his legs wider and smiles, "Come."

They eat like that, the television on and Jinyoung is leaning on Jaebeom's wide chest while one of Jaebeom's hands rest over his stomach. Right now, he seriously wishes he were wearing underwear because while his balls are protected by the end of the shirt, his dick is rubbing on the leather covers. It's uncomfortable, his bottom is kind of sweaty but does his best to ignore it and continue eating. Once in a while, he'd readjust to find better positions for him. He leaned forward, ass leaving the couch, to grab the remaining food from the table and sits back down. When he settled, he felt something digging into his back so he moves again trying to flatten it out but Jaebeom squeezes Jinyoung's side and sucks his teeth.

"Stop doing that."

Realizing what it was, he gingerly backs up his ass on Jaebeom and teasingly eats the food he got. 

"It feels good though."

"Jinyoung…"

Faking his innocence, Jinyoung's eyes look up at Jaebeom with mischief. "Am I turning you on?"

"Oh, baby. You're doing more than that." and Jaebeom turns off the screen.

Jinyoung almost comes right then and there. He's always craved for Jaebeom's touch and attention. Back in the dorms, he'd silently jerk off thinking about him. But seeing Jaebeom horny for him, calling him baby, fires up a new found desire.

Jinyoung cranks his head sidewards and cradles Jaebeom's head. Jaebeom whispers, "Let's continue where we left off last night, shall we?" and Jinyoung smashes their lips together. Jaebeom tongues at his mouth, exploring every crevice of it as if he hadn't tasted it hours ago. His arms are fully around Jinyoung scrunching the shirt up. One of his hands reaches down to grab Jinyoung's cock and it surprises him to already feel the warm flesh in his palm. His eyes grow wide and gasps in shock.

"Fuck, Jinyoung!" He bunches up the shirt even more to see Jinyoung on his lap, fully displayed in the living room. He traces over Jinyoung thighs and ass repeatedly, just watching Jinyoung fidget in his lap and soft gasping when he's close to his cock and hole.

"Who knew Jinyoungie would be so foxy? Who knew you'd be like this?"

"Please, touch me."

"I am, your skin is so milky, so smooth."

"Jaebeom, c'mon!"

He hushes the younger and wraps his hand around Jinyoung cock once again, getting straight to point and pumps him quick. It feels good but the slide isn't that smooth, Jaebeom spits in his hand when he needs to and continues to pump Jinyoung right after. 

Jinyoung is restless in Jaebeom's lap and blindly reaches back to Jaebeom's head which is right beside his. His legs are starting to shake and he whines into Jaebeom's jaw.

"P-Please, Jaebeom."

"What do you want, baby?"

Jinyoung moans loudly, his body jerks forward at the first spurt of his cock.

"Oh, you like it when I call you baby? Don't you Jinyoung-ah? He nods and releases more of his cum into Jaebeom's hand.

"Jaebeom--"

"Hm?"

"Get inside me. I--I can't wait anymore."

Jaebeom obeys, he takes Jinyoung by the back of his knees and raises it. "Hold your legs." 

Jaebeom uses his hand coated with Jinyoung's come to tease at his entrance. He could already feel Jinyoung hole clenching on the tip of his finger. 

"So eager for me, so fucking pretty Jinyoungie."

He continues to keep tracing the rim of his asshole and watches it flutter. It suddenly dawns on him that it'll be Jinyoung's first and when he expects to feel emotional pressure, he feels warm and fuzzy instead. But taking him on the couch isn't the best place for a first, so he opens him up there instead, not being able to find enough restraint to bring him to the room until they're about to fuck. 

"Tell me if you want to stop, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." 

Just as Jaebeom was about to insert his finger, Jinyoung grabs him by his wrist.

"Go slow, okay?"

"I will, don't worry."

Jaebeom carefully wriggles a finger in Jinyoung's hole. Jinyoung could feel the stretch, it's warm but not too painful. Jinyoung groans softly into Jaebeom's ear. He could feel his finger lightly padding against the ridges in his ass, and it makes him clench around Jaebeom's finger. When he feels that Jinyoung is ready for another, he pushes one in and now, Jinyoung could feel a little sting. He whimpers, eyes shut close and brows scrunch. 

"Easy, easy baby."

He takes Jinyoung's lips to his and pumps his cock again to distract him from the pain, and it works for a while. Jinyoung, soft and pliant under Jaebeom's ministrations, moans at the delicacy Jaebeom is treating him with. Jaebeom adds a third finger in slowly and Jinyoung shouts. He grips hard around the wrist but encourages him to keep pushing in. When the elder's fingers reach knuckle deep inside, he spears then upward and Jinyoung can't take it. He completely detaches from Jaebeom's body to lean his arms onto the table, opening up his ass right in front of Jaebeom.

"Fuck, Jinyoungie. Is this all for me?"

Jaebeom repeatedly fucks his fingers in and out of Jinyoung, curving them upward at every retreating stroke making Jinyoung shudder and moan. Jinyoung is getting desperate, as Jaebeom works him in, Jinyoung grinds back meeting Jaebeom's fingers halfway. Jaebeom pushes one of his ass cheeks to the side so they could glide better and it turns Jinyoung on, feeling Jaebeom open him up and Jaebeom can't hold back any longer.

He slides his fingers out and holds Jinyoung by his torso, "Let me take you to bed, Jinyoung." They rush to the bedroom, Jinyoung immediately takes off his shirts and sets it on the floor of the bedroom as he makes his way to the bed while Jaebeom does the same with his pants and underwear. Jaebeom crawls over the younger, Jinyoung instinctively lies down and lets Jaebeom hover him. Jaebeom humps against Jinyoung's naked member and they both moan. 

"Jinyoung, the lube is under the pillow." 

When Jinyoung finds it, he gives it to Jaebeom who is seated on the balls of his feet. He quickly takes it and immediately squeezes out a good amount of the sticky substance onto the divot of Jinyoung's hip. He takes some and rubs it against Jinyoung hole. He comes back and coats the same fingers that were in him earlier and shoves it back inside. The glide is easier now and much more pleasurable. He shouts unexpectedly when Jaebeom pumps him while he fingers him open.

"Fuck, Jae--I'm going crazy." and it only makes Jaebeom work him harder and faster.

"You're going to come for me like this before I fuck you okay?"

"Yeah! Oh, yes!"

Jaebeom stops stroking his cock to grip his own, "Open your eyes, Jinyoung. Look at me."

Jinyoung follows and his back immediately arches in pleasure. He finally sees Jaebeom's tall and girthy member, ready to impale him and split his ass open. His mouth waters at the thought of it sliding into him and jab at his prostate.

"H-Harder, Jaebeomie. Harder, please!"

Jaebeom dives his fingers even harder and deeper into Jinyoung and pushes at a tough nub. Jinyoung screams out utter satisfaction. His arms fly up to cover his face as Jaebeom continues to roughly nudge at his sweet spot while spreading his fingers inside.

"Oh! That feels so good, Jae--Ah!"

"That's right, baby. Come for me, Jinyoung."

"You're so," Jinyoung swallows "So good, Jaebeom. I'm--so close." and Jaebeom spares no time and straight up punches into Jinyoung's ass.

Jinyoung comes so hard, he spills onto himself up until his jaw. His hole now red and raw just by Jaebeom's fingers, refused to let Jaebeom pull out. The elder moves up and leans on an elbow. He hovers Jinyoung again, with his fingers still inside he kisses Jinyoung on his lips. Tongue incessantly spearing into his mouth the same way his fingers work Jinyoung through his orgasm. When he feels like Jinyoung has calmed down, he pulls his fingers out and Jinyoung whines at the emptiness. He dips his fingers into the lube again and coats his dick. Jinyoung just watches, a strong feeling of desire spreads through his body like wildfire. He wants him. 

Jaebeom finally lines himself up, the tip of his cock pushes in a little and Jinyoung holds onto Jaebeom's shoulders.

"Breathe, Jinyoung. Take deep breaths, okay?"

Completely losing his ability to speak, he moans in acknowledgment and when Jaebeom told him he would be patient with him, he truly kept his word. Jaebeom would never insert himself inch by inch until Jinyoung would tell him to. Jaebeom incessantly kisses his neck and laps at it to provide Jinyoung comfort and a distraction from the ache. 

He finally bottoms out, cock fully immersed into the wetness of Jinyoung's ass, and groans into Jinyoung's neck.

"Jinyoungie, fuck." He moves back a little but stops himself from ramming into him. He rocks slowly in and out of Jinyoung, working through the tight clench.

"You're so tight oh, god."

Jinyoung bites his lip as he feels himself take in Jaebeom's mouth watering girth. He breathes out when Jaebeom pulls back, the tip of his cock still inside but then Jaebeom fucks back into him so hard that Jinyoung jumps at the pain and pleasure the slide has brought.

"You feel so fucking good, Jinyoung."

"Please, Jaebeom."

Jaebeom doesn't fuck him any slower. He's too far gone into finally being inside Jinyoung to hear Jinyoung's screams of pleasure. Jaebeom is high on the wet slide, his cock just eases in so smoothly, it's addicting. Jinyoung is getting fucked mindless. His legs are shaking and he never stops moaning. His body is losing control but he doesn't mind, because Jaebeom is hitting his prostate so well he can't seem to want to stop.

Everything is coming quick and the build up steady and oh so good. Jinyoung feels like he could die being fucked by Jaebeom. Each stroke hits the spot, the back and forth motion never falters but keeps delivering. Jinyoung's arms are crossed over Jaebeom's neck while Jaebeom is holding Jinyoung's legs apart making him reach depths neither of them thought they could.

"So big, Jaebeom." Jinyoung whines and scratches Jaebeom's back, "So, so good."

"Yeah, baby? You like that?"

"You're fucking me so well. You make me feel so good!" Jinyoung squeals when Jaebeom fucks him even harder. His hips are slamming into him so fast his eyes roll back into his head. The sound of their skin slapping and Jaebeom's pants into his ear helps him near his high. Jaebeom is absolutely lost in the feeling, one of his hands find Jinyoung's and intertwines them while the other places Jinyoung's leg over his shoulder. Jaebeom leans down and kisses his chest. Jinyoung cries out the sensation of a new angle, his leg cranked up to his neck allows Jaebeom to push in even further and Jinyoung can't take it anymore. He comes without being touched and his slick pools between their chests. His fingers clutch hard in Jaebeom's hair and hand, making Jaebeom's hips stutter. He's wailing and Jaebeom slots his mouth over his to keep him quiet. He mumbles into their kiss.

_That's it, baby._

_You're coming so good, so well._

_Yeah, fuck. Just like that._

It's dizzying, all he can see are white specks floating like fireworks during new year. He pants so hard as if he ran a marathon across the world and the sensation of Jaebeom giving him praise while still fucking him is overstimulating but he doesn't mind, not when he feels that Jaebeom is close to coming. He bucks up to meet his thrust and holds onto Jaebeom's hips to guide him deeper inside.

He cries out at the same time Jaebeom comes inside him. Tears freely flow down his face and Jaebeom kisses him so deeply and slowly. He can feel Jaebeom cram his ass with loads of cum, it's just so filthy that it makes it hotter. Jaebeom can't stop moaning Jinyoung's name and all Jinyoung can offer is a tight hole he can work with, so he clenches hard around him and Jaebeom comes again, his hips stammer and he cries out. 

"You want me to keep coming? Make me fuck into you so good?" Jaebeom whispers in Jinyoung's ear, his tongue tracing the outline of his lobe.

Jinyoung is getting hard again and Jaebeom helps him get there. He reaches in between their bodies and jerks off Jinyoung's cock.

"You keep--Ah! Clenching around me, you like my come in you, baby?"

Jinyoung's high pitched whine ripples through their ears and Jinyoung starts to tear up again when Jaebeom fucks him slow but pounds into him at ever forward thrust hitting Jinyoung right on is prostate once again.

"Oh, Beom-ah!"

"I'm here, baby. Enjoy this with me."

"You're taking my cock so well. Taking my come so greedily."

"I can't, fuck Beom, I can't." Jinyoung spills all over them again and cramps up. Jaebeom comes right after Jinyoung's hole tightens once more. Jinyoung's ass is so tight, he keeps milking Jaebeom's cock. Come is already spilling out and Jaebeom ejaculates one last time. 

_Make me yours, Jaebeom._

_You fill me up so well._

_I feel so full._

_Your come, so good._

Fully spent and fucked out, they don't budge and fall asleep attached and their hands still in each others'.

**Author's Note:**

> am already letting you know that the updates will be slow and i apologize :((
> 
> thank you for reading, comments are always welcome!


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